I Heart My Pediatrician. Not.

You know, I woud really really love for one of these goofballs who tell me my kids are not big enough, or aren't getting enough thanks to my nursing them, to come to my house sometime and show me how it is done.

No , really, fat guy in a white coat. Mi casa es su casa. Come on in, sit down at my kitchen table, show me how to feed a 16 month old who is throwing her peas and smashing her cup of high calorie expensive supplemental formula against the wall. Seriously, sit down some time with her, on your lap while she screams and squirms around the bottle that she refuses to drink.

Spend your day doing that, your night rocking and shushing, and bouncing and BEGGING this baby to sleep. And after she has starved all day long, and after she has cried herself out, and after she has refused every single human milk substitute you have presented her, I DARE you to tell me that my nursing her is hindering her growth and sleep habits.

I am sorry, but taking away the ONLY steady source of nutrition she will accept is counterintuitive to every instinct I have as her mother. I guess at some point when she is close to starvation she will give in and take a bottle, or a sippy of pediasure. But speaking as a mother, I would really rather her settle in comfortabley and take the nutrition that is available to her, inadequate as it may be. Even if I have to sit down with her 6 to 8 times a day still at 16 months old, it is the superior option to the struggle you are insisting upon our family, and my poor sweet baby.

I am not sure how you know my supply is inadequate, I am not sure how you know she'd do so much better if she were drinking milk in my milk's place. Have you tested the composition of my milk? Have you even suggested weighing the baby before and after a feeding to see how much she's getting in a sitting? If not, how can you be so sure that taking that away from her will suddenly make her start eating, or make her start drinking the milk you are hanging your hopes on.

guess what? Some people don't like milk. My 4 yr old is one of them. He NEVER drank milk. He still doesn't unless he's dunking cookies in it. I nursed him until he was almost two, and he went strait to drinking juice and water from a cup.

Furthermore, the growth charts are based on American children. Who are increasingly more obese than their counterparts in other nations. Do I really want my child to be more on par with the average weight of the rest of the grubby little McDonald's addicts in this country? My child is not an average. She is an individual. And while I agree that she is probably a little on the small, small side.... SO WHAT? What if I do everything you tell me, what if I am finally successful in getting her to drink 8 oz of pediasure in a bottle and she still doesn't grow to your standards? What measures will we take next? If I tell you that she doesn't sleep regardless of the fullness of her belly, if you check her over (and you did) and find her not only developmentally on track, but AHEAD in many ways, WHAT THEN? How far do we go, simply to fatten her up? If she is healthy at her weight, if she is developing normally, what does it matter if she is 14 pounds or 25?

Look. I am 4 ft.11. My mother is 5 ft 1. My daughter's paternal grandmother is 5 ft 3. I am not going to have "normal" sized children.

Let me tell you what else I won't have. I won't force feed my baby to satisfy some stupid weight chart. I won't stress myself to tears, and my family to insanity with my obsessing over what is "wrong" with their baby sister. I won't give up a major part of her nutritive input, her bonding time with her mother, her magical cure all to bumps, her bedtime routine, her instinctive NEED to breastfeed. Unless you can tell me it will make her stop waking and staying awake for 4 hours every night, and make marked difference in her health.

No? You can't make me that promise? Then shut your pie hole!